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Cross-Cultural Empty Nesting

Susan Yates
Suaan and Kenyan WomenMarch 10

The Empty Nest isn’t just an American phenomenon. Today I met with a group of Empty Nest friends in Nairobi, Kenya. As I shared some of the discoveries that Barbara and I made in writing our book, I wondered if these women would identify with what we found or if the cultural experiences would be too different. The nods, laughter, and tears on the faces around me quickly confirmed that no matter what our skin color or tribe or country, each of us experiences similar feelings as we navigate this unusual season in our lives. When I expressed the feelings of fear, loss, a sense of being “fired” from our primary calling of motherhood, AND the silent wondering if these feelings are “normal” or if anyone else understands, these women responded with a “yes.” They too face the challenges of how to relate to their husband in this season, of how much to be involved in their adult child’s life, and particularly of how to define who they are now, and most importantly how to discover what to do next.

My Kenyan friends also long for a fresh purpose. They are tired and need a break. For them, as for each of us, the future is uncertain––politically, financially, and personally. Yet in the midst of uncertainty, these women are seeking to make a positive difference in their communities.

Two things became clear as we shared honestly with one another. There is great comfort in the company of other women––a kind of comfort that females understand and need from each other! Girls need girlfriends no matter where they live. Second, there is the reassurance that although we don’t know how our kids will turn out, or what our future holds, we do know that Jesus never changes. He alone is the same yesterday, today and forever, and He will never leave us. We can count on Him (Hebrews 13: 8, 5 paraphrased).


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Anonymous @ 3/10/2009 7:39:38 AM 
Thanks so much for this entry ... and for all the thoughts that you and Barbara share here continually. Thanks also for your book, which I read last summer. It is such an encouragement to hear from other women who are also "empty-nesters". I liked hearing about how "cross-cultural" this whole season of life is, as well. We have had a full house of kids (6 in all), and already have 7 grandchildren. Our youngest (almost 19) just moved to a place of his own two days ago. Even though my husband and I have loved all these years of direct parenting, and love our kids so much, we have also been greatly looking forward to being the two of us. However ... now that our son has moved out, and we are true "empty nesters", I am finding myself very emotional. It is such an adjustment. Thanks for this place to come to for encouragement! Cherry
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